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MRW I hear the restaurant staff off in the distance singing Happy birthday

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MRW when walking into the bedroom after eating Taco Bell

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MRW I see lame attempts to divide Millennials and Gen Z so they’ll fight each other

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MRW I find the live traps that I had set for a mouse were wedged open with Q-tips, and all the peanut butter inside them eaten

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MRW a mouse has gotten into the house and I've spent two days and nights trying to catch it

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MRW I get there but forgot to take a coat and it's pouring outside

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MRW I'm five and a friend dares me to jump over the torrent in the woods

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MRW I save my pooping wife from a spider

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MRW half my family are Buffalo Bills fans, the other half are Dallas Cowboys fans and I'm agnostic when it comes to the sport

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MRW I Realize 1999 Was 25 Years Ago

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MRW it's 9:30 pm on sunday

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MRW my Philosophy professor on Free Will/Determinism tells my late ass to take a seat now, and the only seat left has a mystery puddle in it

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MRW someone says that Mel Gibson isn’t anti-Semitic

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MRW I really love my new job at the sperm bank.

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MRW I check the top posts of the last hour

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MRW I’m a US Senator from South Carolina and get home from a long day of work.

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